Reminiscing of a Lost Soul
by ecotiger
Summary: "He, Loki Laufeyson, was the greatest fool in the universe and now he had nothing." Post-Avengers
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first story that I have ever finished and it is amazing because I finished in a hour. It isn't very good but I'm a math gal and I have no idea where this came from except that I was reading all of these amazing Loki fics and wanted to join in on the fun. Sorry if Thor seems OOC I have an idea for more chapters that may or may not come. R&R!**

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Loki scrutinized the large, dim cell he was situated in. He had memorized every detail of it already, yet trying to find something he had missed gave his bored mind something to do.

The trickster knew exactly what had gotten him into his current position, knew he more than deserved his punishment, and wasn't entirely sure if he regretted his actions. Maybe he regretted killing the mortals. In his mind at the time he had convinced himself that he would be a wondrous leader for them, but that notion had slipped from his grasp as soon as he started to look at the horrors his hand had brought down upon them.

He understood that he was getting off a lot better than he deserved. Perhaps, Odin felt bad for his troubled "son" and had thus, let him off much lighter than he deserved. He was thankful for kindness, though he would never show it. It was much better a predicament than what would have awaited him had he returned to the Chitauri.

He shuddered to think of what the monsters he had so readily helped would have done to him had he escaped and returned to them. He had seen some of their torture chambers and had heard many a story of the cruelty of their leader Thanos.

He felt guilty for working with them, that he was certain of. They were crooks who held not a care in the world about his well-being and he had attempted to help them attack those that cared for him even after he hurt them. Agent Romanoff had indeed been correct in her accusation; he was a monster.

After he had been defeated he had started to realize what he had done. He began to understand the consequences. He even started on his journey to feeling sorry about it, but one thing that continued to haunt all of his new realizations was that he would never be accepted again. Asguard hated him, there was no hope of Midguard ever even opening their gates to him and he was probably a criminal every where else.

How could he have been so stupid? When he had started down his dark path all but two and a hlaf years ago he had been hoping for love, acceptance, and equality. He had came to the end of his path now and all that was left was hatred, anger, and fear. Even his big stupid oaf of a brother who had been the only person to ever care for Loki held quite a grudge against him.

The young god felt a tear trickle down his cheek and he felt ashamed for letting it escape from his eyes. He deserved every bit of anger and hatred that was directed toward him, yet he cried that his stupid brother, who he had most likely hurt more than anyone else, no longer loved him.

Of course Thor had come to see him a few times, but it had always been to question him. Loki for his part had told Thor everything he asked for. He had never let a single emotion slip through his mask of indifference, and thus let Thor hold onto his new found anger. Inside though it had hurt Loki worse than any blow could. As soon as Thor had left after his first visit and Loki was sure he was alone he had cried. He had cried until he made himself sick and had then forced himself to stop.

The next time had been worse. Thor had addressed him as "Loki Laufeyson" and had effectively severed any claim he had ever made about Loki being his brother. That time Loki had not cried, but he had felt the little bit of hope that had remained with him through everything wither up and die in a fiery death. When Thor had left Loki found a nice sharp rock near his chains and had pressed it into his arm. The scratch was deep and long and the pain almost unbearable, yet it numbed the agony he felt inside and so he had let the pain lull him to sleep. Unfortunately, when he awoke the wound had healed and the rock was lost.

Thor continued to come down from time to time and Loki continued to feel worse and worse about his relationship with his brother. Still, he never tried to reconcile with his brother for he was fairly certain that if he tried then he would succeed and then somehow, he would end up hurting his brother again. He did not, under any circumstance, want to scar Thor yet again.

Frigga visited once and he was not entirely sure what to think of her visit. She came baring nothng but empty words. She had said that she was sorry, that she understood what he must be going through and that she forgave him. He had simply gazed at her trying to work out why she was there and it had ended with his mother, no Frigga he berated himself, leaving in tears.

The most interesting of his visitors no doubt was Lady Sif. She despised him vehemently and had never forgiven him for cutting off her golden hair. He had expected her to gloat or mock him, but she had done neither. It had been just a week ago and he remembered her words clearly, almost as if they were still ringing in his head.

"I wish it had not come to this"

He was yet to discover what she had meant, but it gave his mind something to think about at least.

His thoughts drifted back to a time several centuries ago when he and his brother tidying up after a sparring match with Sif.

"_Sif truly hates me doesn't she?" Loki said to his brother wincing as he bandaged a particularly ugly bruise Sif had delivered to his side._

"_She does not hate you brother, she merely prefers others," Thor boomed coming over to help his brother with his bandages._

"_Yes she does. She always has after the little hair incident,"Loki stated, scowling as his brother's non-too gentle hands finish binding his side. "Of course, not many people like me anyways so it shouldn't be that big of a deal."_

"_Nonsense Loki, many people in the kingdom like you. You are too hard on yourself."_

"_Thor **everyone **hates me. I am the worthless trickster that is more trouble than he is worth."_

"_**I **do not hate you brother," Thor said hugging Loki._

"_You say that now-" Loki began pulling before Thor cut him off hugging him closer._

"_Brother, I will never hate you. Not now, not ever," _

Loki cut off his train of thought abruptly. Wiping his eyes he stifled the sobs that threatened to tear loose from his lips.

How could he have been so stupid? He had played his greatest trick ever on himself. He had made himself think he was doing the right thing and making his life better, when in all reality he was trampling every chance he had at a normal or happy life. He had traded everything for nothing.

He, Loki Laufeyson, was the greatest fool in the universe and now he had nothing.

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**AN: Again first fic sorry if it's horrid. As I mentioned there is an idea on expanding this and an expansion would explain a few thing like what Sif said and why Thor now seems to hate Loki. Should I continue? I'd love to hear what you think. Please review! Please, please, please, pretty please! Don't be afraid to tell me everything that I've done wrong either. Maul me with critique and I'll be happy. I'm a smart girl I like to learn. Oh, one more thing, what of the flash back. I've never done one before and want to know how it turned out. Thank You. XD**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:I know it is sort of weird for someone to post two chapters so close to each other, but hey they're short and I have lots of free time currently. This chapter is in Thor's point of view so sorry if it isn't as good. I'm not good with Thor. I wrote this while watching Captain America with my brother but I don't think it effected my writing much. R&R**

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Thor paced back and forth in his chambers. He simply could not turn off his thoughts and the more he thought the more he lost his reserve. Loki no longer wished to be his brother, he was no longer sane, and he knew that the brother he once knew was gone. Buried by hatred and anger, the mischievous boy Thor had grown up with was gone, and in his place was the criminal who had decimated an entire city on Midguard.

He played at not caring about his brother anymore. He had been very convincing, sometimes he could even convince himself that Loki was not his brother anymore. It seemed to be what Loki wanted, but he could not shake the feeling that Loki still craved Thor's affection.

Loki was a criminal, a murderer, and he deserved what he had received. Thor could not take pity on him or try and reconcile with him.

It was not that Thor was lonely. There was Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun. The problem was that Loki was his brother. No matter if they were blood related, Loki and him were brothers.

He could not afford to feel sympathy for Loki. That would only be playing into Loki's hand.

Ugh, he could not figure out what he was supposed to do. He was not cut out for this type of thought, he was a man of action.

Perhaps he could consult his friends on what his course of action should be. Oftentimes they had more insight than him on what was the correct thing to do in this kind of situation. Then again, usually he went to his brother for this type of question.

He was going in circles with his thoughts. He would speak with his friends that at least was doing _something_.

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"I don't understand what the problem is Thor," Volstagg mumbled through the large bite of boar. "He tried to take over Asgard, nearly killed us, almost destroyed Jotunheim, and attempted to take over Midgard. There is no question about it, Loki is evil." With that the rather large god went back to feasting.

Thor left him to his food as he went off to try and find another of his friends who might have a smidge more compassion and understanding than Volstagg.

He found her in the sparring room in the midst of a heated match against Hogun. Fandral was off to the side watching the match. He went to sit by his smiling friend to wait for Sif to finish so he coud speak with her.

"You seem off-put, Thor, what is roubling you?" Fandral asked as Thor sat.

"I have been troubled by the most confounding of thoughts, and I know not what to make of them," Thor replied not wishing to engage in the whole Loki discussion with Fandral knowing his answers would most likely follow in the same manner as Volstagg's.

"Perhaps a friendly sparring match would help. You know get your mind off of things, and it would be more exciting than merely sitting here watching Sif and Hogun"

After a few seconds of pondering this suggestion Thor quickly agreed. It would help pass the time and any reprieve he could find from his thoughts was welcome. Thus, the two began a small battle.

Sif and Hogun finished a few minutes before Thor and Fandral, but he was able to catch her before she left and they agreed to meet up in the gardens after he finished freshening up.

As Thor headed out he noticed Hogun polishing his weapons over in the corner. Though he rarely told what he was thinking the man had a sharp mind and Thor decided to inquire into the silent god's thoughts on his predicament.

"Hogun, my friend I have a question of great importance for you," Thor boomed walking over, "If one is faced with a situation in which is heart says one thing, but logic another what should he do?"

Hogun regarded him for a second before answering, "One must decide whether his heart or logic is more important in the situation and act accordingly." With that he put away his things and left, leaving a confused Thor to find Sif.

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"Logic or heart, logic or heart. Which is more important?"Thor mumbled under his breath. Perhaps Sif could help him decide.

"Thor, over here!" Sif called from one of the benches situated off to the side of the path. "What is it that the mighty Thor so urgently needed to discuss with me?" she asked as Thor sat down next to her.

"It concerns my brother, Loki-" Thor began before Sif abruptly cut him off.

"What of Loki, he hasn't escaped has he?" the fierce girl asked almost frantically.

"No, no," Thor assured her, "It has to do with my feelings reguarding him. I should feel anger towards him, and I do feel some, yet I can not shake the feeling that he is my brother and that I should love him for it."

"Thor he is your brother and that is exactly the point. He attempted to kill you and he very nearly did. He lead frost giants into the vault to interrupt your coronation. He threatened to hurt your friends, and somewhat succeeded in that. Brothers are supposed to care for, help, and be there for each other no matter what the circumstances."

Thor had been listening to Sif, he truly had, but at her last sentence all words she had said before were canceled out. Loki his brother was in prison and he had been pretending to hate him. Sure, Loki wasn't the best brother, but Thor was not doing much better.

He jumped up while gleefully thanking Sif, "Thank you, Sif. You have been most helpful, now I am off to reconcile with my brother." With that he was off running to the dungeons as quickly as his legs could carry him.

A bewildered Sif watched him leave. 'Damn, that had not gone as planned.'

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Thor very nearly flew down the steps, barely glancing at the befuddled guards. He would remind his brother that he was loved. He would show Loki the light again and then when his sentence ended they could once again fight by each others' sides and forget the nonsense of the past years. They would be a family once more.

Thor reached Loki's cell flinging open door while roaring at the top of his voice "Brother!" He stopped dead in his tracks staring at the sight before him. The chains that had bound Loki for the past months lay on the floor wide open and his brother was nowhere in sight.

Apparently he had lied to Sif.

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**AN: Yeah, not good with Thor. If you were hoping for more of the Avengers never fear they're coming soon (approximately two chapters). THanks to Guest, AquaDragon78, and jakefan for the kind reviews. Those are what encouraged me to continue the stories. I am very unsure of my writing as English is undoubtedly my second worst subject but that you took time to read my story then comment on it really touched my heart. Unfortunately I won't be able to add in Loki's p.o.v. for a few more chapters. *sigh* But that is how the story is to go. Please review. Thanks! XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: New chapter! I have no idea where it came from, everyone seem OOC, and I hate it. But it is what I have so I guess I have to deal with it. For some reason this chapter is based around Sif but she isn't exactly my favorite character so I have no idea how to write her. Sorry if it's horrid. R&R**

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Sif came when Thor called her and the Warriors Three to Loki's prison cell, she listened, with what she hoped was a face of shock, as Thor told them that Loki had escaped, and she dutifully searched his cell for clues as to where he went.

She was certain that they wouldn't find anything. She had been very thorough when it came to covering her tracks. The cloaking charm she had used was the best out there. The guards hadn't seen anything and there was no incriminating evidence left by either her or her cohorts.

It came as quite a shock to her then, when Hogun found of piece of Chitauri armor. When Thor finally put two and two together to come to the conclusion that the Chitauri had indeed aided Loki in his escape Sif was still in shock. Her beautiful, foolproof, ingenious plan had fallen apart and now everything was spiraling out of control.

Well, shit.

Immediately Odin Allfather held a council to decide upon their immediate course of action. It was debated whether to just let him remain with the Chitauri (Sif brought forth that idea in a last vain attempt to save her plan), but that was quickly shot down since Loki would be able to cause all kinds of mayhem with the help of Thanos and his army. Thor had the 'brilliant' idea of going to the Chitauri and asking for Loki back and then forcefully taking him if they refused. Of course, that was the plan of action decided upon and then predictably Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three were the ones chosen to embark on this honorable journey.

Double shit.

When Hogun finally asked how they were supposed to get to the Chitauri home world with the bifrost gone she could have kissed him. When Fandral mentioned that obviously the Chitauri had gotten here somehow, so they simply had to find that passage, Sif's last small ray of hope was shot out of the sky.

It didn't help any when Thor asked Frigga, possibly the greatest mage in Asgard except maybe Loki, to aid them in their search. Knowing what to look for it only took Frigga an hour to locate the portal behind the palace.

After quickly reviewing the plan, the group of five plunged headfirst into the glowing portal and off int the unknown.

xxxxxXXXxxxxx

Sif shivered as she walked along the rocky surface of the Chitauri home world. Not because she was cold, but simply because this place gave her the creeps. Glancing around her she realized that none of her friends were having any better of a time. They all were glancing around wearily as they walked and flinched every time a Leviathan flew past. She at least didn't do that anymore. She'd gotten used to them after her previous visits. She thought back to how this whole debacle had started.

_She'd been walking rather aimlessly through the palace thinking grimly about how easily Loki had gotten off. He had committed more crimes than she cared to count and he had been merely imprisoned for an undecided amount of time. _

_She needed fresh air. She headed down a path she hadn't taken before leading down around the palace. Kicking a rock into the bushes beside her Sif noticed a vibrant flash of light behind the bush. Going into the bush Sif found herself falling through a portal._

_Trying to figure out where she had landed Sif headed down the path in front of her. Eventually she came to a stone arena where many shouts and jeers could be heard. Stowing herself under a rocky overhang Sif found herself watching a Chitauri meeting._

"_The fugitive Loki needs to be punished for his crimes. His own people coddle him despite all he has done. We would truly punish him for what he has done. Great Thanos, let us go to Asgard and capture the frost giant weakling." crowed one of the monsters to Thanos._

"_That would be a wonderful idea, but for the fact there is no way for us to reach Asgard. Even if we could, sneaking past the Asgardins would be no easy feat," Thanos stated. "So, as much pleasure as it would bring me to see the unwanted prince suffer, we can not capture him."_

_For reasons she still yet to fathom Sif made the most foolhardy decision in her life at that point in time, walking out and revealing herself to the whole of the Chitauri._

"_I can help."  
_

Sif was jolted out of her thoughts as their group found its way to the coliseum. As they headed in they were greeted by the sight of Thanos sitting upon his throne. The purple god glanced at each member of the little team lingering on Sif a bit too long for her liking.

"I am wondering little warriors, why are you here?" Thanos inquired as they made their way into the amphitheater.

"My brother, Loki, was found to be missing from his cell on Asgard and the only piece of evidence we could find as to where he went was a stray piece of Chitauri armor. We came to ask if you know where he is," Thor announced stepping forward.

"We attempted to recapture your brother, yes, through the use of a cloaking charm. We did not complete this feat by ourselves though, we received some...help, I guess that is what you would call it," Thanos replied again glancing at her too long for her liking. What was his deal? Was he trying to get her caught? Probably. Sif sighed this wasn't going to end well.

"Then perhaps you could be so kind as to return him to us," Thor said trying very hard to be as diplomatic as possible.

"Now why would I do that?" Thanos asked. "After all that hard work I went through to get him back, why would I just hand him right back over to you. No, I think I'll keep him."

"Then we will have to take him back by force!" Thor announced.

"I don't think you want to do that," Thanos said. "You're outnumbered and even if you some how did defeat us you still wouldn't get what you wanted."

"What do you mean?" Thor asked.

"Oh dear, seems I forgot to tell you one vitally important piece of information," Thanos said smiling while feigning forgetfulness. "Though we went to get him Loki never arrived here. I blame the one who helped us. I think if he is to be found she is the one you should ask."

"Who was this person that helped you in your crimes?" Thor boomed out he seemed to be getting quite flustered.

"You don't know?" Thanos gasped faking surprise, "She's standing right beside you." With that all four of her friends turned to stare at her a look of betrayal plastered onto their faces.

She was doomed.

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**AN: Yeah that was bad but next chapter should be better I think. More Loki and finally some other Avengers. I'm not sure how write Thanos either so I just did my best on him but he ended up rather suckish. Is he a god or a titan or what? I'm not sure considering I've never read the comics. I'm working on it. Anyways please review. Tell me what you like what you don't like and any suggestions. I'm always open to ideas. I'll be really grateful if you review. XD**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry about not updating in a while, but I have been busy as Cinderella's evil step sister in the play Cinderella. I will try to update more often from now on, but no promises. Just so you know I have no plot line for this story except for a vague idea of where I want it to go as if I do mare than that I get bored and the story dies, (I think I may have slight ADD). Thanks to all who have reviewed; Krikanalo, Guest, and Meadow Creek your reviews are what convinced me to write this chapter. They were extremely kind and I love hearing that you liked my story. They have really boosted my confidence as a writer. Thank you all so very, very much!**

**Disclaimer: (I forgot this in my previous chapters so this applies to them as well) I do not own the Avengers. (Sadly) :(**

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Tony was having a bad day.

Pepper had canceled their date due to an overload of work, then the rest of the Avengers had been called out on some top secret mission that he wasn't allowed to go on as the creature they were fighting fed off of electricity and would love his arc reactor. Then to top it all off JARVIS had told him that a hundred odd people had taken up residence on his Malibu beach front property. When he had gone in his Iron Man suit to shoo the squatters away he discovered that a "hundred odd people" meant a hundred Chitauri.

Even worse than having to fight one hundred Chitauri, was that while doing so Tony had managed to scratch his suit's paint job. He had just repainted it and it already had a scratch. He did wonder how one hundred Chitauri (now about fifty) had managed to end up on his property. They had all died Phantom Menace style after he had blown up the main ship and Natasha had shut the portal, so how were they there?

He would look into that eventually, but right now he was focused on killing the Chitauri. There was a small cave that most of the surviving aliens were clustering around. They seemed intent upon keeping him out of it. Tony wondered what was so important in that cave. It was a really bad hiding spot so it couldn't be anything extremely important, but it had to be mildly important considering how valiantly they were fighting for it.

After aiming his missiles and blowing the heads off of the last ten Chitauri the iron man cautiously made his way into the cave. Looking around he stopped in his tracks.

Tony Stark had no idea what to expect when he had ventured into the cave, but this sure as hell was not it. Huddled in the corner with heavy shackles draped around his arms and legs was a man. Other than the fact that he was a humanoid, male with black hair he was unrecognizable. He was gaunt, and pale, with blood almost completely covering his face. It looked as though he had not eaten in ages. Multiple scar were outlined around his body along with countless bruises.

When Tony moved towards him the pitiful man whimpered and try to crawl away. Tony crouched down next to the man and removed his helmet trying to calm the distressed prisoner.

"Hey, it's gonna be alright. We'll get you fixed up before you know it."

The terrified man looked up and croaked out "Létta," before promptly fainting.

Tony carefully removed the shackles that secured the man, cautious not to hurt the man any. As he worked he started talking to the passed out human beside him.

"I've got a great lab you know and plenty of resources. I'll do the basic medical work just because you need it immediately, but after that I'll call in a professional. You'll be better in better shape than you were to start with when this whole ordeal is over. How does that sound...um, what should I call you? You look like a Larry to me. Is Larry good? You can't answer, right, so I'll just call you Larry. So, why were the Chitauri, so interested in you, Larry. I mean you look human, and those aliens didn't really interact with anyone except us Avengers, so I have no idea why they'd go after a human. Are you an Asgardian then?"

The last shackle snapped and Tony looked at the metal a bit closer. "Yeah, you're probably an Asgardian or else, why would they use such a strong metal?"

With that the genius scooped up the supposed Asgardian and flew him back to his Malibu mansion.

xxxxxXXXxxxxx

When Tony got back to his house he laid his patient in the infirmary that he had installed after one too many hospital trips. With JARVIS's help Tony gently cleaned up "Larry." After bandaging all the major wounds and installing an IV, he began to wash the blood off of Larry's face. Revealing the facial features of the man and making him easier to identify. Of course it took a bit longer than Tony expected realizing just how much blood was actually on the guy's face.

So of course, Tony struck up some conversation with his still unconscious guest to pass the time.

"So, Larry you're an Asgardian so will Thor come to get you? Or will you simply return to Asgard once you're better. What did you do to get the Chitauri so mad at you anyway? And why didn't you invite me to help you when you did it? I'm not exactly their biggest fan. Not after the whole Loki incident. You're pretty lucky that the Chitauri decided to camp out on my property you know, otherwise you might not have been found for ages. So what do you do up in Asgard? I bet you're some great warrior who led this epic raid on the Chitauri. No, you don't look like a warrior, no offense, but you are probably a scientist that made this awesome weapon that could wipe out all of the Chitauri and they kidnapped you to keep you from using it."

Tony stopped his one-sided conversation as JARVIS informed him that Pepper was at the door.

"Great timing Pep," he muttered under his breath and then out loud, "Keep an eye on Larry for me JARVIS tell me if anything happens."

When he got to Pepper she was already inside with a large smile plastered to her face.

"I got everything done earlier than I expected so I thought we could go ahead and go on that date now," she announced.

"Uh, Pep that would be great, but I, uh, have some work I need to attend to, so, uh, maybe tomorrow?"

"You're putting me off for another one of your machines," Pepper said, slightly put out.

"No! I just have something really important that needs to be done," Tony quickly replied.

"Now you're hiding something from me," Pepper said getting more and more frustrated with her boyfriend.

"How do you know that?" Tony asked confused as to how she caught on so fast.

"Tony Stark just told me he was doing work besides building something," Pepper responded.

"Hey!" Tony cried out quite offended by her statement, as true as it was, "Fine I'll show you why I can't come with you. Follow me"

He led her down to the infirmary and opened the doors revealing Larry.

"Oh my god!" Pepper nearly screamed, "What the hell happened to him? Have you called a doctor yet? Who is he?"

"Um, I found him in a cave guarded by Chitauri, I don't know who he is, but for the sake of having something to call him I call him Larry, and I haven't called a doctor because I think he's Asgardian"

With that Tony went back to cleaning the blood off of Larry's face while Pepper sat down in a stunned silence. Slowly he explained to her the whole story of how he found Larry and explained what all he had done so far in way of medical help. By the time he was finished all the blood had been cleaned from Larry's face. Tony leaned in a little closer to get a better look at his patient; what he saw made him jump back in shock.

"Shit!"

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**AN: Thank you for reading my story this far. It really touches my heart that ya'll take time out of your day to read a teenage math geeks crappy little story. I didn't plan on putting Pepper in this chapter, or even in this story, but I was sad that the chapter was so short (It was only 600 words when I thought I was about to end it) and along came Pepper knocking on the door and demanding to be let into the chapter. By the way Létta is old Nordic and means stop. Thanks again for reading and please review. Please?**


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